Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Goodbye to 2013 (Blogmas day 11 -- the end)

I tried really hard not to write a cliche New Year's Eve post. I told myself that it would be lame, and overdone, and unpleasant to read. I resisted, I read other people's posts and scoffed, and I was really doing well.

But let's face it: I'm a walking cliche. 
I'm also a narcissist. 
So obviously I'm writing a post about the new year. Sorry...

I actually want to punch myself for saying this, but 2013 was my best year yet, and I'm not just saying that because of the rose-tinted light that the end of the year always seems to cast over our memories. 2013 was a year of a lot of struggle, sadness, and improvement. 

Don't get me wrong, I messed up a lot of stuff, and the year was full of darkness at many times, but this was the first year in so long that I have felt stronger than my depression, anxiety, and self-doubt. Mostly, 2013 taught me that happiness is a process, and one I've just barely started. 

I'm not one for making resolutions because I know I won't keep them, but I am a believer in goals. My goal for 2014 is to continue in this process. Happiness is not an endpoint I ever believe I'll reach, but rather a collection of small bits and pieces that it is our responsibility to notice and accumulate. I have been blessed with so much opportunity and so many of those bits and pieces, and I can't wait to build my happiness over this coming year.

If you're reading this, thank you. Thank you for your support in this process, and thank you for your interest. Best of luck with your goals, your resolutions, or whatever it is that keeps you climbing higher.

Here are some of the small bits of happiness I have accumulated this past year. None of them would have been possible without the love and support of my family, Nathaniel, and my dearest friends, and those people are the largest pieces of the puzzle that makes up my happiness. To these people, I am so deeply grateful, and for these moments, I am so truly blessed. 

Highlights of 2013
1. Being accepted into college! Choosing Emory was a difficult decision, but I am so pleased with my choice.

2. Graduating high school

3. Maintaining a healthy level of physical fitness. I exercised over 200 days in 2013. It may not be every day, but what a victory that is! I'm constantly working on building my strength, and 2013 was a strong year for me. 

4. Completing my high school debate career having not only qualified for the TOC, a very meaningful goal I set for myself, but also placing third in the country at NFL nationals. It may be a worthless tournament, but it is a meaningful indicator of success for many of the people who made my debate career possible, and I am so happy to be able to show them that their investments in me were not wasted entirely

5. Celebrating a year in active recovery from my depression. Above all else, I will remember 2013 as the year I started getting better. It will be what I look back on as the year that I decided I deserved better than just getting by. 2013 was full of slip-ups, setbacks, and failures on this account, but it was the first year that I decided that my body and my happiness were more than just collateral damage in my daily struggle to feel okay. I'm okay, and I will continue to be okay. 

Happy 2013, and may the new year bring you unprecedented happiness and peace. 

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